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iTRANSFORMED

iTRANSFORMED

Mine is a life that was transformed. Can’t say it’s a rags to riches story. I couldn’t bear the cliche. For me, the transformation has been more on the inside where you can’t see it. Though now it’s developed far enough that the transformation is visible on the outside. That’s how change works. It starts with the smallest parts and works its way out to the bigger parts. You see, like most people, I was raised to believe I was crap. Yes, my parents fed and clothed me, and got me to school. I got to enjoy vacations and Christmas holidays with family. From the outside, it must have looked really great. From the inside it was hell. I guess you would say my family was a “normal dysfunctional family.” So why was my experience of life so awful if I was born into what would be privilege for many? When you believe you suck, the world seems all to happy to oblige. That is, if you think you suck, life will suck. I fell into the common trap of believing that the crap I got from the world was the world proving my inferiority. The joke was on me. After all my complaining and suffering– and by suffering I mean panic attacks from the age of 6, social anxiety, physical illnesses, abuse, poverty, chronic pain, broken bones, fears and failure… I’ve stared down the barrel of a loaded gun, hurled through the air at 100 kilometres an hour, and faced a foe twice my size and three times as mean, besides– and still, after all of this suffering,...